We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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