The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
