I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
