If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
