Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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