Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
