Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
