when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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