i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
