i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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