i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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