Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
