I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
