your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
