that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
