everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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