Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
