so that wasnt chicken after all
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize