Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
