the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize