Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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