Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We're too hungover to prance.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
