i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
