We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
