yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
