dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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