We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
