She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
