Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
