you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
