even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
