i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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