I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize