How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He passed out mid-signature
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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