you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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