I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
