Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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