i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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