she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
