AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
