Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
