I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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