I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
