i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
