picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
