I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
