So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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