He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
