Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
