mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
