Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
