Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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