how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
