so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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