why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
