haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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