i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize