she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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