Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
