I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
